How To Find A Gestational Surrogate

GPTB_Blog Graphic (8) Information technology's probably safe to say if you are reading this mail service, information technology's because you lot're considering surrogacy every bit one avenue to family edifice. Surrogacy is a complicated procedure and finding the correct person to behave your future child can seem like one of the most daunting parts of this equation. But with the right team of experienced clinical and administrative staff, you lot and your futurity family will be in skillful hands.

Here at Gay Parents To Be, nosotros have pride in the fact that we have a full staff that works exclusively with these journeys, and then each intended parent knows that they take an entire team on their side. Wherever you choose to build your family unit, you should make certain that both your fertility specialist and agency have experience with surrogacy. This may be your start time going through the process but knowing that you lot have the full support of an experienced team will help calm your fears.

Before nosotros dive into some of the intricacies of matching with a surrogate, here's a quick refresher on the surrogacy process. Remember, for single or coupled dads to exist, surrogacy involves egg donation, an IVF cycle, and a gestational carrier - also known as your surrogate.

Finding, matching with, and truly trusting your gestational carrier can seem like a huge job, but our goal is to arm you lot with all the knowledge yous demand to make these decisions.

How Do I Outset The Surrogacy Procedure?

You tin can start the surrogacy process at two unlike points - with your fertility dispensary or your surrogacy agency. Y'all should experience comfy earlier engaging the services of either of these entities, so your first pace will well-nigh ever be a consultation. This allows you to meet some of the staff, enquire your questions, and get clarity about costs and specific services.

Does Surrogacy Start With A Fertility Clinic Or Agency?

So where do you lot start - with the fertility dispensary or the surrogacy agency? In truth, there isn't one "right" place to brainstorm your journey. While both paths pb to the same endpoint, we tend to recommend starting with a fertility clinic in gild to keep waiting times, additional costs, and the full time of your surrogacy journey at a minimum.

Starting With Your Fertility Clinic

If yous connect with a fertility clinic offset, your first step will be a consultation with your physician, when y'all'll build a plan personalized to you lot, your hopes for your future family, and whatever relevant personal medical history. Your path to parenthood volition then involve the following steps:

Initial baseline fertility testing
Matching with an egg donor (either in house at the clinic, or from an egg donor agency)
Creating embryos in the lab with your sperm or donor sperm

Your next stride would so be to appoint the services of a surrogacy agency and friction match with a surrogate, which tin have months or up to a twelvemonth! In the meantime, your embryos will remain safely frozen at your clinic. Once your friction match is consummate, intended parents and the gestational carrier will both come up to the clinic for transfer day - when an embryo is placed into the surrogate's uterus.

Starting With Your Surrogacy Agency

If yous connect with a surrogacy agency first, your first step would be a consultation, in which you'll learn their process, sympathise costs, and soon after being the matching process. It is the job of the agency to connect intended parents and pre-screened surrogate candidates based on a variety of personal factors. In one case a potential surrogate has been identified for you, you must cull a fertility dispensary.

Surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics piece of work manus in hand to make certain the process runs smoothly for all parties involved, and then it is important that your fertility clinic signs off on all potential surrogacy candidates before your match is complete. While there are certainly baseline standards, the specific requirements may vary from dispensary to clinic, and then surrogacy agencies go on that in mind when presenting intended parents with potential match candidates.

One your fertility dispensary signs off on your surrogate match, then both the intended parents and the surrogate must complete the following steps of surrogacy before starting an IVF cycle:

Matching with an egg donor (either in house at the clinic, or from an egg donor agency)
Creating embryos in the lab with your sperm or donor sperm

After a few months, once these steps are complete, the intended parents and gestational carrier (and ofttimes her partner) come up back to the fertility clinic for transfer day!

Either manner, you will need the assistance of both a fertility clinic and surrogacy agency to complete your journeying. Information technology is possible to complete a surrogacy journeying with but the help of a reproductive chaser, only we steer patients abroad from that course of activeness. Coordinating a surrogacy journey can seem like a total-time job, and you desire to be sure that your best interest, equally well as those of your surrogate and your futurity child, are being taken into consideration.

What Are The Requirements To Be A Surrogate?

As mentioned above, the specific requirements to become a surrogate vary from fertility clinic to dispensary, but there are wide standards that most agencies and fertility practices abide by. Although it is not mutual to evidence these requirements on TV and in Lifetime movies (FRIENDS, we're looking at you) one major factor is that all surrogacy candidates take experienced at to the lowest degree i successful pregnancy and nativity. Boosted guidelines may include:

Age (over 21 and under 42)
BMI (Trunk Mass Index) under thirty
No Smoking
Healthy Lifestyle
Previous unproblematic births
Less than 3 C-sections
No sexually transmitted diseases
Has passed a psychological evaluation
Not on federal or state assistance
Reliable transportation
Supportive family members
Mature
Undecayed

Many surrogates are inherently nurturing women who enjoyed being pregnant and desire to be able to assistance another family abound. They are not genetically related to your baby , and they have their own families.

How To Find A Surrogate

Request A Friend Or Family Member To Be Your Surrogate

If you are starting your search for a surrogate past asking friends or family members, remember your list of guidelines from the clinic. Yous may trust a family member with carrying your infant, they may not exist the most suitable candidate. Yous have to think of the health of your baby earlier all else.

One trouble with searching for a surrogate from inside your circumvolve of family and friends is that anybody will know more about your personal life than y'all might similar. Some people are comfy with this and have no problem with sharing every facet of the surrogacy feel.

Others, however, are more private. Making it known to family and friends that y'all are looking for a woman to help you with your family unit building 'project' will open the door to personal and sometimes invasive questions. There is besides the fact that after the baby is built-in you will continue to collaborate with your (former) surrogate on a more personal level then you lot would accept with someone you observe through an agency, a law office, or classified ad.

Do I Need A Surrogacy Bureau?

The more popular and common fashion to connect with a surrogate is through the use of a surrogacy bureau. The agency would be responsible for all of the recruitment and pre-screening on your behalf, including background checks and medical tape review before you would even see a profile.

When y'all kickoff connect with a surrogacy agency, you provide them with a list of criteria that allows them to hand pick the best candidates for you. If you are attack your surrogate eating sure foods (or non eating sure foods), or would prefer that they live close to you, your agency needs to be aware. When the agency presents y'all with a potential match, these factors will be taken into consideration, and the prospective lucifer will already be vetted by your fertility clinic.

Matching With Your Surrogate

Surrogacy is, at its core, a trust-based relationship , then the "right lucifer" should seem similar a skilful fit. They should be someone with whom yous make a relatively piece of cake connection. Don't forget, your potential surrogate is interviewing YOU, likewise!

Things to consider when meeting with your surrogate are ease of connection (a good match will "click" adequately easily), and communication style. Both you and your surrogate volition want and need support throughout the process, and if you're non on the same page this could lead to frustration. Merely, at the end of the day, you can place your trust in your surrogacy agency and fertility dispensary. They consummate dozens, if not hundreds, of surrogacy journeys per year, and their expertise should put y'all at ease.

Where To Go For Surrogacy Back up

If you're in the centre of a surrogacy journey and looking for additional resources, y'all're not alone. This process tin take a long time, also as much of your emotional energy and financial resources, so it's completely understandable to need back up. Refer to our list below for tips on where to turn:

There are social workers who work with donor and surrogate-conceived families all the fourth dimension! Your clinic and agency will definitely have staff members to offering that support, or may exist able to refer you to a practitioner in your local area.
Enquire your dispensary and/or bureau - they may have a private parent's support group, network, or even a closed Facebook group where you tin can turn for support. Here at Gay Parents To Be in partnership with RMA of Connecticut, we offer a drop in 3rd political party support grouping for any parents using a donor or surrogate to conceive.
Your partner and family - while you lot may non exist willing to share all the details of your journeying with your family, they may be a identify to turn to for support.
Your surrogate - you guys are in this journey together, and while yous don't want to cause inordinate stress, sharing some of your hopes and worries may exist a bonding feel for you both.

Whether you're in the midst of your journeying already or just starting out know that there are resource and support for wherever you are.

If yous still take questions about the surrogacy matching process, check out our list of questions for gay dads to enquire a potential surrogate earlier you friction match.

Have more than questions nigh the surrogacy matching process?

Check out this list of questions for gay dads to ask a potential surrogate, before y'all friction match. Read More Now